Going Once, Going Twice is a short story set in the Skulduggery Pleasant Universe between the events of Mortal Coil and Death Bringer. It follows a brief forray Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain take to Florida in order to solve a mystery regarding a climate. The story was exclusively availble online, released by Derek to subscribers.
Plot[]
A man named Whist Simple tracks down Skulduggery and Valkyrie while they are in the middle of a case. Whist comes into an office only to find Valkyrie and Skulduggery poised to attack a man they themselves had been tracking. After a brief exchange of words the man charges in, swinging his sword only to be quickly knocked out by Skulduggery. The man explains himself claiming his wife has been kidnapped and taken to Florida by an ex-lover, though Skulduggery is suspicious that she may have simply ran off with the supposed kidnapper. The kidnapper's name is Gumshoe Grady and he is a detective of the American Sanctuary. Though they are first hesitant to come with Valkyrie really wants to go as she hopes to visit Disney World or Universal Studios Orlando. The duo get Fletcher Renn to teleport them to Florida where they rent a car and proceed to the motel where Liana Locuna, the kidnap victim last use dher credit card. Valkyire struggles to get information out of the man operating the front desk, Greg, as he dosn't take her seriously due to her attire and age. Meanwhile, Skulduggey, growing bored let a bee into the car against Valkyrie's request and allowed it to fly around, it enters his skull. He is amused. The man continues to give her a hard time as she continues to press him with questions. He eventually grows concerned over her well being, however he lets out that a woman with Liana's description had indeed checked into the motel alone a few days before. Valkyrie steals the guest ledger book and finds her mortal name as well as her room. Skulduggery and Valkyrie proceed to break in and search but they don't find her. Gumshoe then enters the room, introducing himself and appraising the duo on their work. after some brief confusion, Gumshoe and Skulduggery put together that Gumshoe had been lied to by Liana. Liana had come to Florida and hired him to help her find an artifact she had apparently lost but, after some research Gumshoe had found it was in Europe in private collection where it ha dbeen for fifty years. Skulduggery then suggests she used him to steal information, which Gumshoe agrees is likely. They call Simple and inform him of the change and ask him if anything had been stolen recently from his archaeological collection to which he replies that yes a tablet from west asia with two different passages of magical languages on it had gone missing. The group pieces together this is some sort of rosetta stone for an ancient powerful magical language and is dangerous. They also piece together that Liana likely wants to sell it at an auction. An auction that is then confirmed to be happening by Gumshoe making some calls to his contacts. The group decides to sleep in the motel room overnight, much to Valkyrie's displeasure incase Liana comes back. The bee continues to buzz inside of Skulduggery. The next day the trio proceed to the auction, which is filled with a plethora of potential buyers. The price continues to rise as the tablet is auctioned off growing from huge quantities of money to objects such as souls and only surviving copy of the Fatalist's Grimoire. Skulduggery expresses that he has a plan involving bluffing and proceeds to go on stage and after some coxing, esentially convince every person in the auction to leave. Liana then approaches with a gun, notably angry. However, before she can fire Simple storms in and convinces her not to. He confesses his love for her and attempts to persuade the detectives not to arrest her, however, he quickly accepts that it is impossible. He says he will love her regardless and she somewhat reciprocates the sentiment. He says he will wait for her to get out of prison, which Skulduggery says should be a few years. Gumshoe leaves with Liana and Simple. Skulduggery resolves to dump the tablet in a swamp somewhere for it never to be found. He then proceeds to finally agree to take Valkyrie to Disney World as she has been desperatly trying to go the entire trip. The bee then flies out of Skulduggery's ear and he calls it by its name, "George".