Gold, Babies And The Brothers Muldoon
Gold Babies And The Brothers Muldoon
Gold, Babies And The Brothers Muldoon
Author Derek Landy
Cover Artist Tom Percival
Date Published April 1st 2008
Date Set In post-May 2008
Publisher HarperCollins
No. of pages 25
Publication Order
Preceded by
Playing With Fire
Followed by
The Faceless Ones

"Gold, Babies And The Brothers Muldoon" is the second short story in the series. It is set a few months after the second book. It was re-published in Armageddon Outta Here in July 2014.


The book features Skulduggery and Valkyrie fighting a trio of Goblins after the Goblins stole three babies.

It begins with Valkyrie meeting with a zombie, who complains that she is late. The zombie explains that the Muldoons, a goblin trio of brothers, had kidnapped three babies and demanded gold in exchange for their lives. He claims that the Muldoons were descended from powerful sorcerers, even The Ancients, although Valkyrie proves him wrong. They were normal human children, who later became sorcerers. After their father died and their mother went insane, they believed themselves superior to mortals. They attacked a group of mortals, and the Council of Elders ordered them to be ambushed. They escaped, but all three were transformed into goblins, with gold as their only source of returning to human form, making them resort to stealing and exchanging babies. They reach a ruined church, and the zombie leaves for the exchange to take place.

The first of the brothers, Liam, demands Valkyrie's money, but she persuades him to give her the babies first. He calls his brothers Colm and Fintan, who come with the babies. After she gives them the gold, they reveal that it is a double-cross. Skulduggery was the person responsible for turning them into goblins, and they say that they will send Skulduggery his head in order to make him come at them. Once he is in their grasp, they intend to kill him too.

The session is interrupted when Skulduggery bursts through the ceiling and crashes onto the floor painfully. The goblins reveal that Skulduggery was attacked by their sister, Peg. She crashes through the ceiling too, covered in wedding dresses and shouting out that she loves Skulduggery. It appears that Skulduggery and Peg have met before, with Skulduggery throwing an entire mountain on her to try and kill her.

Skulduggery and Peg engage in combat, while the Muldoons attack Valkyrie. She burns Fintan and he smacks into a wall. Colm tries to kill her, but she sets him on fire and elbows him in the jaw. Liam and Peg eventually get the better of the two and overpower them. Liam throttles Valkyrie, but she throws him across the church. Skulduggery summons up a piece of rubble to smash into Peg's face, but soon after, Liam rushes for the babies. Valkyrie quickly elbows him, and knocks him unconscious.

Towards the end, Peg has an emotional breakdown after Skulduggery explains to her that they don't actually love each other. Peg leaves, saddened, and Skulduggery is left to be teased by Valkyrie.