The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
Author Derek Landy
Cover Artist None
Date Published 2010
Date Set In Early 2010
Publisher HarperCollins
No. of pages 25 approx.
Publication Order
Preceded by
Mortal Coil
Followed by
Just Another Friday Night

The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous is the fourth short story in the series. It is set a few months after the fifth book. It was re-published in Armageddon Outta Here in July 2014.


This story starts with Geoffrey Scrutinous talking to a cop, telling him that he will handle everything that has happened. The cop agrees and walks away, leaving Geoffrey at the murder scene. Skulduggery and Valkyrie inspect the scene. Skulduggery admits that he has no idea what happened. Geoffrey says that neighbours heard an old fashioned train at the time the person dies. He comes to the conclusion that the person was hit by a train. But Skulduggery says there are no train tracks or anything of the sort.

Geoffrey searches around the room and picks up an old pen, he looks down on the piece of paper which reads "I'm going to be hit by a train." Geoffrey informs Skulduggery of the piece of paper. They are sure it is the person's handwriting. They come to the conclusion the person didn't know he was writing. Skulduggery looks at Geoffrey and asks why he is writing. Geoffrey is confused and looks down at his hand and find he is writing. He drops the pen and Skulduggery reads out loud "I'm going to be eaten by a shark". Geoffrey becomes worried, Valkyrie says the pen is cursed. Skulduggery says Geoffrey has twelve hours before a shark does eat him.

The trio sit in a diner, discussing where the murdered person worked. Skullduggery makes some calls and finds four people were killed in the last two weeks. He comes to the conclusion that the pen was handed down from person to person and each of them were killed in turn. The curse started with a sorcerer named Elwood Satchel. The three got into the Bentley, drove to a person who knew Satchel well. He wasn't home so they waited in the car.

He returns the next morning, and tells them how Satchel died. He said Satchel was electrocuted while running. A few days later they found a note, left by Satchel. Skulduggery asked if Satchel had any enemies. The man mentions another sorcerer named Davit Maybury, who Satchel had stolen his girlfriend from.

The trio go to Maybury's house, but no-one answered the door. When Geffrey has only 15 minutes until he is going to be eaten. Skulduggery finds a door in Maybury's bedroom. Geoffrey notices the carpet is wet and soggy. Skulduggery calls out to Maybury through the door, but nothing happens. Geoffrey asks where the water is coming from, but Valkyrie says there is no water. Geoffrey sees a fish but he is the only one to experience it. Skulduggery looks for a way to open the door, without noticing it, he does. The go down a room with a dead Maybury sitting in the armchair. Geoffrey panicks, but Skulduggery tries to calm him by telling a useless story.

Skulduggery looks at the cursed pen and cracks the outer shell. He sees four symbols engraved on the inside. Skulduggery notices one symbol is incorrect, which made the curse pass from person to person instead of one person. Geoffrey's teeth start chattering. Skulduggery rings China Sorrows to see if he can correct the symbol. Geoffrey notices the shark's dorsal fin poking out of the water. Valkyrie jumps in front of him, but knows that won't do anything. Skulduggery starts talking to China about the symbol. Geoffrey starts shouting, saying that the shark is coming. Skulduggery tells Geoffrey to stop shouting. Valkyrie tells him to scare it away by splashing, but China says not to splash about. Skulduggery continues talking and takes up a scalpel and tries to correct the mistake.

The Shark comes for Geoffrey, Valkyrie grabs his arm and pulls him away at the last second. But she drops him again, under water. He looks for the shark and sees it coming for him. But at that time, the water disappears and so does the shark. Geoffrey thanks Valkyrie for saving him. Skulduggery wonders why he doesn't get a thank you too and Geoffrey merely said no ,Skulduggery told him to shut up and walked away.

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